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Malaise & Ketchup

by kinaka

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1.
Carousel 02:03
only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake horses dancing around my face told myself that i'll be okay only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake in the window to my soul solitude, it can't make me whole invitation was on its way come and make a friend today 'mong the laughter, my face is still i decide i don't fit the bill one dude asks what's on my face i say all i know to say m'only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake horses dancing around my face told myself that i'll be okay only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake in the carousel, lost can't find myself, tossed aside when i ride i'm dizzy i try to regain focus but i've lost all it m'only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake horses dancing around my face told myself that i'll be okay only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake m'only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake leave the room to regain my face all that's left to do here is pray only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake only here for my lovers sake in the carousel, lost can't find myself, tossed aside when i ride i'm dizzy i try to regain focus but i've lost all it
2.
Puppy 02:57
i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy i laze around the house all day but you cant hold that against me cuz im cute and small and fluffy people who hate people love me so push the reservation till sunday cuz i'm busy doing nothing my civic duties are all above me cuz the only doody is under my feet i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy so if you're a dog, come mosey round come dawdle along with me we have nowhere else to be find me sleeping under 7 bedsheets you might find it rather morbid but to me it's just a thing always never in such a hurry doesn't help that im also a furry so these packaged cans of dog food so lurid blue green and purple blurring all this junk inside my body glad my body didnt stop metabolizing at the measly age of seven years i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy i may be a rotten human but im an innocent puppy an innocent puppy an innocent puppy so if you're a dog, come mosey round come dawdle along with me we have nowhere else to be find me sleeping under 7 bedsheets two dogs in the pound or in the house id say it doesnt matter to me but it very much matters to me your knees arent as weak as you think human knees are stronger than dogs' i think and you're not a dog, you're a human being
3.
Kitten 01:26
a trip to the pound to find a home she's worried but she's full of hope curiosity could sometimes get the best of her but now she's strong as e-ever she knows that the world is ruthless she knows she will find the truth cuz this ain't it, this ain't it, this ain't it with eyes the size of casseroles she's beautiful, she can't grow old she's got a lover by her side as far as he knows, she'll never die but the pound's for a brutal union will she make it out by tuesday evening? i can't say, i can't say sometimes i can get in for a neverending call but cats can't adopt each other i fear don't forget, you land on your feet whenever you fall just please don't break your legs my dear but kitty's nine lives are not to be glossed over or overlooked she lays on her side just waiting for her love to be accounted for she scratches hearts into the ground don't be afraid to make a sound dear know no fear, know no fear oh kitty, kitty, kitty sleep for the night i'll send an angel to hold you tight their words can't hurt you anymore they'll leave their resignations at the door they'll learn just what the truth is that they can't just take your wigs, cuz that ain't it that ain't it, that ain't it
4.
Sober 01:40
a loss to take for a lifetime's worth he seethes with disappointment to tournaments to see what he's worth bound to be disappointed till then take this L and hold it don't toss your controller you ain't paid for it take the loss and hold it you'd lost control, eh? tell me when you're sober a thousand losses for a hundred wins you'd still had won a hundred the past torments but the future gifts you still have time to want it till then take this L and hold it don't toss your controller you ain't paid for it take the loss and hold it you'd lost control, eh? tell me when you're sober why remember everything you lost yet forget what's important it may seem petty but it's valid and such just pick it up and hold it
5.
hey is there anyone there for me is there anybody there for me if youre anywhere just call hey does someone really wanna care for me they tell me someone wants to care for me am i really here at all then a stranger walked up to my side said he had for me a small surprise beckoned, do you wanna look inside was a pair of button eyes he said i'd have them under one condition lend the reins up unto me, my friend you're too pained to struggle anymore wasn't i the one you're calling for? and i said do you see me here do you value me can you tolerate my dual personality? i dont wanna hurt anyone like ive hurt myself if you wanna help someone then please go help yourself say he cannot hear me cuz my mouth is stitched he put my heart inside a plastic bin he stole my eyes and hasn't looked back since but wait why don't you turn your back when i'm torn up? ain't it easier to just give up? i just don't understand a thing roughened as i was i didn't fight a lens on my face for my blurry sight these stubby paws can't grip with all all the might within the world he'd held my hand so i would not have to i couldnt even if i wanted to he placed his heart into my open chest and said that all i need is rest and i said take a bit of me take up all of me im not in the mood of thinking logically i dont really listen when im talking to myself im scared of facing myself more than anybody else hold a piece of me hold a part of me sew up all the stitches on my body i dont really use my head when thinking bout my self i guess i can admit that i might need somebody's help but together doesn't mean to be complete he holds me gently in his palms so sweet my body's clean but yet my minds asleep sayyp i would finally have space to breathe undid the stitches on my taut mouth piece but i'd forgotten how to speak
6.
heart shocked fore it all goes dark shocked hard cuz the springs weren't nuff i'm just sayin' you don't really wanna go so far all i need is your arm to touch i'm not worried, you got my back see your face 'fore it all goes black what remains? still haven't lost my love for you we'll go as far as you want us to think loud 'fore it fades to red feels better when i know you don't feel the same m'still in bed with my knees to my chest will i ever get to see you again? when i, fall i get up and try again it's a wonder how i'm still alive i'm in pain don't think it'll last long this time as long as you're still by my side i'm not scared, just lost sometimes i remember when you look in my eyes that i'm safe no one's ever gonna tear me down why would someone wanna tear me down? heart shocked fore it all goes dark shocked hard cuz the springs weren't nuff i'm just sayin' you don't really wanna go so far all this thought will split my head apart
7.
Sleep Tight 02:50
i will not sleep till you do you don't deserve to keep those thoughts inside cause you and i have one another to confide no need to smile for me just wait until it passes then you'll smile, honey, won't you? just let it out on me the pain may come in cycles but not i, i'm always here with you the heart will do what fits its shoe there is not much else it knows to do so i lend these thoughts of caring unto my bride who's dressed in blue the world can let her down sometimes it's the nature of the world sometimes it's okay you can come and hold my hand we can always power through but i wont sleep till you do you don't deserve to keep those thoughts inside cause you and i have one another to confide no need to smile for me just wait until it passes then you'll smile, honey, won't you? just let it out on me the pain may come in cycles but not i, i'm always here with you no need to smile for me just wait until it passes then you'll smile, honey, won't you? just let it out on me the pain may come in cycles but not i, i'm always here with you when it's dark inside our room we might not know just what to do cuz everything we know, everything we have is shrouded in the doom but we've more than our sense of sight i can hear your sparse breathing through the cold air of the night, i will hold you tight cuz i know i still have you! no need to smile for me just wait until it passes then you'll smile, honey, won't you? just let it out on me the pain may come in cycles but not i, i'm always here with you i, i'm always here with you i, i'm always here with you
8.
Feverish 02:12
i was eating burgers when the moon had turned orange oh what a sight isn't that nice? the fries tasted good, but the soda was horrid the pepsi was down but the milkshakes were good back on the road driving home from sd to sf i saw a fox atop a rock in the moonlight there are two ways to see nonexistence first there are dreams then coincidence if it weren't for your touch i couldnt tell the difference so small, in fact, we shouldn't exist but here we are my hand in yours our bodies are here but our minds in the sky we saw a fox atop a rock in the moonlight why was a fox atop a rock in the moonlight? lets ask the fox what's atop the rock the rock in the moonlight

about

My debut album!

credits

released June 30, 2020

music and lyrics by: Justin Alcantara
album art by @lovelywensday

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kinaka San Francisco, California

folk? lullaby? idk

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